So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
