What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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