so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
