I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize