Just mADE A PArabola og urine
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
NoShamevember. You game?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
