no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
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