Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
