Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
so explain again why im purple
no
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
