It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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