At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
