you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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