Duck Duck Cougar?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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