Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
