I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
