he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
