I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
