I threw up into my coffee this morning.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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