KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
