All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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