She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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