i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
