nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
