Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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