Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
