If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
