Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
