could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
