her vagine was all disorganized.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
