you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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