I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
