omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Randomize
