There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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