Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
