"it" just moved
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Randomize
