Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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