There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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