I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
