found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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