Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
