i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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