return my video game
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize