I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
