If that was your dad, he is hot
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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