Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
