I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
