We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
