We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
