You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize