My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
