how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
