I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
