Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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