My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
