Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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