Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
