i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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