are you still at the devil's house?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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