quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize