All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
